It’s such a strange feeling to be so comfortable around a person you hardly know. It doesn’t happen often, but I felt it as soon as I met Maureen and Jeff. I should have known when I kept running into them throughout the bookstore that it was for a reason. It’s usually so unnerving to have a stranger in your personal space. After circling around each other for about thirty minutes I gained the courage to say something. They were a more mature couple, looking to be around my parents’ age. Jeff was definitely graying around the temple. Maureen didn’t show her age in her dark violet hair as much as she did in the wrinkles around her mouth from the years of smoking. I asked what they were looking for and Jeff told me that they were just perusing through the cookbooks, looking for inspiration. He spoke to me while looking at Maureen the entire time. You could tell that he adored her by the look in his eyes. It was not an overtly physical connection between the two of them. Simply pure, genuine care. He was so gentle about her, although something told me he didn’t have to be. It was clear that Maureen was unaffected, paying Jeff much less attention than he did her. After chatting about a few different dishes and the couple gifting me with their salsa recipe, I asked how long the two of them had been married.
“We aren’t anymore.” Maureen responded casually.
I was apologetic and embarrassed even though they were not. They told me how they had been married for almost twenty years and continue to remain friends after separating; I was confused as to how a dynamic like that works. How are you with someone for so long – build a life together, make a home – and still remain friends afterwards. The thought alone broke my heart. I could never imagine having that type of connection with someone and still wanting to spend so much time with them after things went sour. Maureen and Jeff had such a calming presence. Being around them made me want to slow things down. I enjoyed the leisure I felt I had in their company. Jeff stepped out for a bit of fresh air, leaving me to pick Maureen’s brain. I’m not typically so inquisitive with strangers, but Maureen had a way of announcing to people that she was an open book. She was so steady in her movements. It’s as if she knew she was exactly where she needed to be. Her presence was just that, present. Maureen asked me if I had anyone special and I could see a glimmer in her eye when I admitted that I didn’t. I had been single for quite some time, and although I was comfortable, it did get lonely. She preceded to tell me how good her men were to her, gazing shyly at the floor. She spoke of how young He made her feel. She had never felt that type of passion and awakening before in her life. It had only taken her to the age of 48 to find it. She told me how He always doted on her, making sure she was never without. Whether it was a specific dessert she had been craving or a new lipstick she wouldn’t allow herself to splurge on. She never asked, He just knew. And for all these gifts He spoiled her with, she was so grateful. As she began speaking of their soul connection, her tone changed. She suddenly softened. Her voice sounded similar to that of a small child; vulnerable. She told me how they would talk for hours. They would fantasize about an alternate universe and all the things they hoped they would get to try. What Maureen treasured the most is that He was honest. He would remind her to come back down to earth when her head was in the clouds for too long. He would stroke her ego when He knew she was underselling herself. He challenged her in ways she didn’t know she needed. They would spend their days like this, feeling drunk off of conversation. It took me a few moments and some questioning to realize that Maureen had been talking about three separate men. As Jeff waited outside, I stared at her in awe. She was the most beautiful person I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Not because of her dark, witchy nails, or the light that beamed from her eyes when she spoke. It wasn’t even the fact that she had three men simultaneously fawning over her. It was the way her presence soothed me. She let me know how okay I was without telling me at all. I felt peace I had never felt before. Whether I am alone or in company, it doesn’t matter. There will always be loneliness. There will always be ecstasy. It is all a part of the human experience which without wouldn’t be worth it. That’s the best thing she could have given me, besides her salsa recipe.
Sam Pursues 